If this is how you’re finding out, we’re sorry to be the ones to tell you: Trump won. He won the electoral college, he won the popular vote. He won Pennsylvania and Wisconsin. His party held onto the Senate and probably the House of Representatives. They can add all these to their collection right next to the control they already have of the conservative majority Supreme Court of the United States.
The majority of American voters saw what Donald Trump did last time, heard what he promised to do this time, and said “yes, we want more of that.” At a victory party in West Palm Beach, Florida, Trump promised the country that “This will truly be the golden age of America,” a sentiment that apparently much of this country believes.
The voters knew exactly who Trump is and picked him again. The 78 year-old declared MAGA “the greatest political movement of all time.” That's one way to put it.
Originally published on Esquire US
Yeah, it's probably "not appropriate" (Joe Biden's words on Saturday's rally shooting in Pennsylvania) to be compiling meme reactions to said assassination attempt, but in an age where American politics is as entertaining as TV, how could we not? Even Elon Musk wants to weigh in (of course he does).
Trump simply draws attention like a magnet. It's a force so undeniable even Biden couldn't resist calling his Vice President Kamala Harris by his opponent's name—on top of another recent glitch where he referred to Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelenskyy as President Putin at the NATO Summit.
While a last-minute head tilt by former President Trump left him with only an upper right ear wound instead of a fatal shot to the back of his head, casualties were observed by a spectator who lost his life, and two others who were critically injured.
Sources are saying that Trump was repeatedly shouting the word "fight" when he re-emerged with a bloody ear and raised fist, but that sure would've fooled us. If anything, he looked like he was swearing, in Old Man Yells at Cloud style.
Conspiracy theories are popping off (pun intended); from the Democratic party being the perpetrators to a possible inside job. Mostly because the shooter, 20-year-old Thomas Matthew Crooks, was a registered Republican. Crooks allegedly operated on his own and was gunned down by the Secret Service on-site.
But that's not what you clicked on this article for. You already seen the trending clips and read the news commentary from both sides. Wherever your alliance lies and what your beliefs are, all you want now is what we never got from John Wilkes Booth and President Abraham Lincoln in 1865: Memes.
Early this month, we saw one of the nation's senators interrogating our fellow countrymen, TikTok CEO Shouzi Chew, on his citizenship. You know, because it's apparently still the '90s where the Western world thinks Singapore is a part of China. Last week, President Joe Biden joined TikTok. A somewhat timely move after resurfacing age issues.
This week, we've got Former (and potentially next!) President Donald Trump with the most random sneaker drop. This comes hot on the heels of some pretty gangster remarks the Republican made about US' NATO allies at a campaign rally. Oh, and literally a day after he was ordered to pay more than USD355 million in a civil fraud case (basically, he and his entourage are accused of inflating certain property and asset values).
The all-gold kicks, which the business mogul/TV personality/politician/criminal(??) announced at Sneaker Con Philadelphia over the weekend, come emblazoned with a 'T', '45' and of course, the American flag. Also sporting a red sole, which essentially makes it you know, Louboutins for men. At USD399 a pop, the only thing we think is missing is probably a bald eagle on the tongue.
The preorders have already sold out. The highest bid for a signed pair went for USD9,000 (to Roman Sharf, who the media mislabeled as a Russian Oligarch CEO, but that's a whole other story).
Interestingly, the website states that these products are not designed, manufactured, distributed by Trump. Rather, simply using his "name, image and likeness under a license agreement". Besides having like-branded cologne amongst the strange inventory, the fine print also spells that the items only ship out months later.
What a way to remind us that you're running for a reelection.