Nearly a year after its release, I’ve seen virtually no marketing for the PlayStation Portal. Yet, it's selling like hotcakes. I had to find out what I was missing out on. Is this a product of the Sony propaganda machine, or something worth buying? After a month with PlayStation’s newest handheld, I’ve seen how it impresses, and where it disappoints.
But first, let’s talk about the PSP, the PlayStation Portable. In 2005, Sony released its first handheld console, and since then it's become a classic. It was the first portable device that promised console-quality 3D games on the go. It was celebrated for its library (and how easy it was to hack), even when it failed to live up to this promise. Nearly two decades later, and 12 years after its successor the PlayStation Vita, Sony has re-entered the handheld race. Just not the way you might think.
Sony released the PlayStation Portal into an era where the dream of taking your PC and console games on the go is fully realised. Devices like the Steam Deck and ROG Ally do that very thing, and they do it quite well. It would make sense for Sony to release a competitor, one where you can play PlayStation exclusives like Final Fantasy VII Rebirth and God of War: Ragnarök anywhere you are. But Sony didn’t do that... They made this instead.
At SGD295.90, the PlayStation Portal is a great value for the tech, but it’s use-case is remarkably limited. I wanted to love it, and as a piece of hardware I do, but I fear my streaming issues aren’t an isolated incident. If you want to pony up for a Portal, I recommend you do it only if you have a vast PS5 library and scorching fast home internet.
The Portal is a dedicated remote play device that takes the form factor of a PS5 DualSense controller. Imagine cutting a DualSense in half and splicing a screen between each half. That’s exactly what this is. Using PlayStation’s remote play feature, you can stream any game you are playing on your PS5 directly to the Portal, as long as you are on the same Wi-Fi connection. That caveat is a big deal.
As a piece of hardware, the PlayStation Portal impressed me. The 8-inch touchscreen is roomy (not too big) and supports gameplay in 1080p at up to 60 frames per second. It’s a great controller in the first place, and now there’s a pretty damn good screen in the middle.
Most of the impressive (and gimmicky) features of the DualSense carry over to the Portal—including its advanced haptic feedback, adaptive triggers, built-in microphone, and overall ergonomics. The two things it’s lacking are a speaker and a touchpad. The lack of a microphone is mostly no biggie—even though I tested the only game that actually uses the controller, GOTY 2024 contender Astro Bot.
The real fumble with this device is that the touchpad is replaced by an unreliable touchscreen interface. Tap the screen and two transparent squares will pop up to represent the left and right sides of the touchpad. In theory, these work.
In practice, they don’t. The Wired reviewer noted this made Alan Wake 2 unplayable. I didn’t even try to stream a game that was graphically intense over my internet. But in my time delving into Sony’s library of PS1 and PS2 titles, I found that the touchpad is often used as the start button in these emulated classics. On the Portal, this doesn’t work. When playing Ape Escape (which I was inspired to finally play thanks to Astro Bot), I was unable to switch gadgets because the start menu was inaccessible. In later levels, this makes things unplayable.
I had other hardware nitpicks (the Portal doesn’t support Bluetooth headphones), but on the whole, that’s not where my main concerns about the Portal’s usefulness lie. In fairness the next part isn’t even Sony’s fault. The PlayStation Portal is a letdown… because of my internet.
Bandwidth is the lynchpin of the PlayStation Portal. How much you have of it determines your experience with the console. Me? I have good enough internet for working and gaming online with no trouble, but I don’t have a connection that I would call fast, nor would I consider it all that stable. This was the Achilles’ heel of my time with the Portal.
In my month with the Portal, I’ve tested good-looking PS5 games including Ghost of Tsushima, Spider-Man: Miles Morales, Demon's Souls, and Astro Bot. I also spent time with PS4 games The Last Guardian and God of War. In almost every case, the opening minutes of streaming were a disaster. Often, I would switch a game I was playing from the console to the Portal and would be greeted with pixelated, laggy gameplay. Typically, this would get worse before the game paused altogether, then booting me out and forcing me to reconnect. Only after reconnecting did some games perform.
When the streaming works smoothly, it is inconsistent from game to game. Higher-intensity titles didn’t stream as easily as less graphically demanding games. I had more luck getting the PS4 games to run smoothly after the initial hiccups. Ironically, the games that streamed the best were remastered versions of PSP and Vita games like Final Fantasy VII spin-off Crisis Core and the PS4 version of Gravity Rush. High-speed titles like Insomniac’s Spider-Man games or shooter rogue-lite Returnal never quite feel right on the Portal. Online shooters would certainly be a no-go on my Wi-Fi. Sorry, Helldivers.
Another streaming flaw I encountered almost instantly was the inability to stream “streamed” content to the Portal. In language that doesn’t use the form of “stream” three times in a phrase, that means no Netflix, no YouTube, etc. It also means that if you have access to the PlayStation Plus library of games that are only available via cloud streaming, they won’t run on the Portal. A bit of a disappointing oversight.
Overall, some games I accepted taking a graphical hit (and occasional hitches) on, and many others I would rather play on my TV.
The use case for the PlayStation Portal is niche, for sure. If you have one TV in your home that’s often used by others, it is an appealing offer. Especially for the same price as a pair of Sony’s gaming earbuds. Chances are if you are paying for fiber internet already, the price isn't a big deal.
Still, playing the Portal feels limited and tethered. Not being able to leave the good Wi-Fi zone of your house makes it not in competition at all with what Nintendo and Valve have put out there. I also found that seemingly small quibbles like the lack of touchpad or Bluetooth support were more detrimental than they sound. All the small things. True care, truth brings.
That said, these are the types of setbacks you’d expect from a first-generation device. Even if the Portal was flawless, though, it still wouldn’t solve the nation’s inadequate bandwidth infrastructure. Without any improvements on that front, another PlayStation Portal would be a sequel that wouldn’t make much sense. For now, the current model’s effectiveness depends on your access to Broadband.
Originally published on Esquire US
Although Madame Web boasts the superpower of seeing into the future, there’s no way she could’ve foreseen this disaster…
To date, Madame Web has generated USD57 million worldwide. Yikes.
The Hollywood Reporter published that this is the worst opening for a Sony movie that features characters directly from the Spider-Man ethos. And unfortunately for those with ‘I Love The Multiverse’ in their LinkedIn profile, the carousel of underperforming superhero movies—both Marvel and DC—is only continuing, if not speeding up.
Madame Web is laughably bad. The script is FULL of clunky lines like the memeified "He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died," the action is shoddy, the characters are dull. It desperately wants to be a Spider-Man movie, but it isn't pic.twitter.com/Ing2amf56n
— molly freeman (@mollyrockit) February 13, 2024
With a shocking 13 per cent score on Rotten Tomatoes, this may very well be the beginning of the end for the reign of superhero films.
“Madame Web is riddled with mistakes that will be noticeable to even somewhat mindful viewers, like anachronisms with the movie’s 2003 setting, questionable medical knowledge, obvious product placement, camera angles that overtly reveal that scenes make no sense and a seeming ignorance of the film’s own established plot points,” notes KCENTV.
But is the film the only one to blame? Or are there additional factors that have contributed to the film’s shameful descent into cinematic Armageddon?
As someone who spends copious amounts of time at the movie theatre, there was surprisingly little promo for the film. Especially since this was not some indie flick but rather a new instalment in the biggest franchise ever. To my memory, the only time a Marvel film has received such little attention, was 2021’s Eternals. That film, perhaps until now, was the biggest Marvel flop to date. Not even a star-studded cast including Angelina Jolie and Kumail Nanjiani’s recently acquired biceps could keep the film afloat. And what’s perhaps even more surprising is that Madame Web was clobbered by the recent biopic Bob Marley: One Love. Despite Bob Marley being an icon of music, few could foresee him toppling Spider-Man.
Dakota Johnson has also generated some serious flack online. Mostly for her indifference not just toward the film, but toward any form of promotion, having gone viral for saying she “isn’t good at talking to journalists.” I'm going to make a bold claim here. That nobody who has to use spreadsheets likes to use spreadsheets, but we do it because we have to.
One is instantly reminded of the current backlash Rachel Zegler faced for her souring comments about her upcoming Snow White remake. Many suspect that, due to the public outrage over her disreputable comments on the iconic Disney character that literally built the foundation on the which the company now stands, Disney is secretly in talks to not just reshoot large parts of the film, but to recast Zegler as well, but alas, I digress.
In an interview leading up to the film, Johnson struggled to name a single Tom Holland Spider-Man film. She'd admit later that she’d personally only seen less than five per cent of any of the superhero movies. Considering the current fanbase for these flicks, that probably isn’t the best way to get people on your team. Adding that "drastic changes" were made to the script throughout the press tour, again, isn’t the biggest insinuator that the movie is going to be a hit.
Online, memes have already been posted about how Madame Web is even worse than Morbius. Remember Morbius? Not only was it the worst superhero film ever made, but one of the worst movies of all time.
Morbius waking up seeing the Madame Web reviews... pic.twitter.com/Tyo562DQT4
— ScreenTime (@screentime) February 13, 2024
What many don’t know is that Madame Web isn’t actually part of the MCU, but rather a standalone Sony picture. The company still partly owns the rights to Spider-Man, and is understandably not looking to give those up anytime soon. Another film not part of the MCU but slyly promoted as so? Morbius. Perhaps we’re catching on to a pattern here. Say what you will about the Marvel films, but they have a winning formula. And when they deviate from that formula, not just story-wise but with productional backing, well, then perhaps you get Madame Web and Morbius, two of the (sorry) least exciting characters from the Spider-Man universe.
In 2014’s Birdman, Michael Keaton’s character is putting on a Broadway play, and when he suggests actors for consideration, he realises that everyone is busy with superhero movies. “They put him in a cape too?!” he laments. Ironic coming from Batman. Especially one who reprised his role in last year’s horrendous The Flash. But the point of all this is that if you put on a cape, you’re guaranteed a fat paycheck. Edward Norton admitted that he was only paid USD4,200 for Moonrise Kingdom. And when you take that into consideration, one can sympathise with the decision of every major movie star lunging at the opportunity to do karate in front of a green screen. Even if the movie sucks.
