Coat and turtleneck, GIVENCHY

SEEING myself on the cover of a magazine for the first time while riding the MRT was surreal. I was just 16, and there it was, in someone else’s hands—a moment I’ll never forget.

THAT COVER was far from perfect. I was awkwardly shy, visibly uncomfortable, and my pose reflected that. Yet, despite everything, I won the competition. 

THE JOURNEY was a far cry from today’s digital age—back then I had to purchase the magazine, meticulously cut out the application form, and carefully select photos to submit. It was a different world. 

MODELLING SAVED ME. I had to learn the craft the hard way, using my body as my medium to express emotions I couldn’t put into words. 

[I WAS] UNCOMFORTABLE in my own skin, clueless about how to model and constantly getting reprimanded. My anxiety was sky-high. But I paid my dues, emerging on the other side, and still modelling 30 years later.

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE to step out of your comfort zone. I never felt like I belonged. Being a [mixed kid] in a Chinese family made me feel out of place growing up. Aunties were always surprised when I spoke Chinese, often asking if I was ‘half-half.’

MOVING ON means accepting that some things will never happen, and healing from that reality. I value meaningful conversations far more than small talk.

IF I COULD DREAM without limits, my ideal photoshoot would be with a wild beast like a tiger or a humpback whale. That would be mind-blowing. I’d love the chance to connect with them, to be in their realm and feel accepted.

MY FIRST AMBITION was to be a vet—I adore animals. I have so many pets at home: two cats, prawns, shrimps, fishes, and a terrapin. I always say I want to end up on a farm with my horse, cats, chickens, maybe a goat, and a little lake nearby so I can fish. 

ANIMALS ARE MY COMFORT SPACE. I was so alone at home, and they made me feel loved. My mother had forbidden animals because I was allergic—so I would keep them in a cupboard—but my swollen red eyes always gave me away. It’s funny looking back, because now I have a whole zoo at home. 

DRIVEN by emotional turmoil and failed relationships, I decided to “get myself out of the way,” committing to change my mindset and experience the beauty that life offers. 

SOMETIMES, THE BIGGEST BARRIER to happiness is ourselves, and removing that barrier is the first step towards peace.

SINGING BOWLS have been a source of healing for me. The resonance bypasses the mind and unlocks a creative potential that feels almost mystical.

AS A MEMBER of a primary school’s School Advisory Committee, my goal was to introduce singing bowls to young children, providing them with 20-30 minutes of relaxation to alleviate the stresses of school.

I HOPE we can normalise self-care and take time to work on ourselves. My son comes along with me for my Singing Bowl workshops and they see me commit to my own daily practice of meditation, mantras and exercise.

MOTHERHOOD is such a blessing; nothing we do feels like a sacrifice. I see myself as an attached mother—birthing my children at home, nursing them, and sharing our nights together for over four years.

I'M TRYING to break intergenerational trauma, and the biggest step is being able to say sorry to my children. Motherhood has been the most transformative experience of my life. 

THE MINUTE I BECAME A MOTHER, I felt an immense healing of my old traumas, fears, and losses. My children are my greatest teachers. My children help me overcome my fears. My son’s an adrenaline junkie; we went diving, which was a phobia of mine. But I needed to do it with him, and I was able to check off one more fear from my list.

I BELIEVE in past lives. I believe that our souls are reborn with us, and that our kids choose us. Whenever my kids say they don’t want something, I jokingly remind them, "You chose me."

A SESSION with someone who delved into my past life revealed that in one of them, I ran an orphanage during a war in what seemed like China. I was overwhelmed with love, taking in more children than I could handle. 

TRAGICALLY, they all passed away. I was in tears hearing this—it touched me deeply. It’s one of the reasons I wanted to work with children. 

I HOPE TO BE REMEMBERED as someone grounded and kind. Someone who embraced life fully, eager to experience everything it has to offer. But above all, I want to be remembered as the best mum to my kids.

Photography: Jaya Khidir
Styling: Asri Jasman
Hair and Make-up: Alison Tay
Photography Assistants: Aliy Alam and Syed Abdullah

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