The Paris Olympics Opening Ceremony was touted the most-watched since London 2012, amassing nearly 29 million viewers. And man were they treated to possibly the the most chaotic visual spectacle thus far, too.
Top cool moments include a closing song by Céline Dion from the Eiffel Tower light show; the legendary singer's first performance following a rare stiff-person syndrome diagnosis in 2022.
Lady Gaga did her number opening the games in the most Lady Gaga-esque style prior.
And who can forget the insane sequence from Marie Antoinette, guillotined and all, to heavy metal courtesy of Gojira.
Other highlights saw a masked and hooded torchbearer that Assassin’s Creed-ed his way along famous French destinations.
Yes, a different masked and hooded torchbearer from the one on a horse.
Snoop Dogg similarly doing his part, minus the parkour.
Mona Lisa was also stolen by Minions. Yup, the yellow ones.
Of course, the most controversial bit besides the hinted ménage à trois was the banquet set up. This sparked offense for its depicted parallel to Leonardo da Vinci's The Last Supper, evoking criticism from the likes of The Catholic Church in France for the "scenes of derision and mockery of Christianity".
The organising committee has since apologised for the upset and denied any intentional disrespect. Artistic director Thomas Jolly has explained for the concept to celebrate diversity and French gastronomy, in vein of a pagan party in tribute to the gods of Olympus. Specifically the Greek god Dionysus, looking more akin to a greasy blue Smurf.
If anything, it's the overall low-budget aesthetic of the entire production that's truly offensive. Maybe remove the dick innuendo in the lyrics and take a cue from the birthplace of the Olympics?
Russia, still banned from the global sporting event, has been quick to jump in with their own overt spin.
We can kinda see why.
It's hard to top this iconic moment though.
Nor this badass move that will go down in history books.
Frankly, we're just disappointed we didn't get to have this.
