“Are you experiencing a mid-life crisis?” asked a friend, and about five others, a few days in after I bleached my hair sometime around October of last year. It was definitely not my first time getting my hair bleached and neither was it the first time that I was on the receiving end of such a comment.

I just wanted something different done to my hair. I didn’t want to grow it out—it’s currently an easy crew-cut—and getting it bleached to blonde instead of first bleaching and then dyeing it a different colour is definitely much easier to maintain. I don’t have to worry about the colour fading into a patchy gradation of multiple unsightly hues, for one.

Typical concerns of falling into a mid-life crisis pit are possibly due in part to the stark change that bleaching one’s hair results in. Especially if you’re Asian and a natural brunette, turning up to work in a colour that sits on the other end of the spectrum throws people off. It’s a choice that’s technically devoid of colour as bleaching removes pigments from your hair strands. For some reason, this becomes a metaphor for starting afresh, stripping away the past to begin life anew. Quite frankly, if I were to actually want a fresh start, I’d reverse the signs of ageing and not visually hasten the process.

But we do whatever we want to do in this day and age—mid-life crisis or not.

Getting bleached blonde hair is easy; keeping fresh, blonde hair is a relative hassle. Maintenance is key in ensuring that not only the blonde that you leave the hair salon with is kept for longer, but also that it fades nicely instead of turning brassy over time.

Every newly bleached-blonde’s new best friend is purple shampoo. The hair colourist or stylist may have used purple shampoo (or silver shampoo—they’re effectively the same thing) while washing your hair after bleaching as a means of toning the blonde. It’s colour theory at play. As purple is directly opposite to yellow on the colour wheel, the deep purple pigment shampoo neutralises the harsh yellow of bleached hair. What you’re left with is a blonde that looks more soft and natural.

A purple shampoo like Kérastase’s Blond Absolu Anti-Brass Purple Shampoo is typically partnered up with a conditioning shampoo or treatment. Bleaching can damage hair strands, making hair appear generally dry and brittle. Purple shampoo, while integral to blonde maintenance, further dries out hair so conditioning after washing is important to lock in moisture. Kérastase’s Blond Absolu Strengthening Conditioner does this while strengthening hair at the same time. The Bright Blonde Radiance & Repair Treatment by Oribe works similarly but, unlike most conditioners, contains pure violet pigment to also assist in brightening hair colour. This means that you’d be able to use a moisturising and strengthening shampoo such as Augustinus Bader’s The Rich Shampoo and finish off with the Oribe Bright Blonde for a potent combination.

To cover all bases, there are complete haircare kits like Stephen Knoll New York’s Bleach Care Master series. Consisting of a shampoo, conditioner and emulsion, the trio works together to ensure that your newly bleached hair is neither dull, dry, nor damaged. The emulsion is the final step in the routine that contains hair cuticle-repairing hyaluronic acid to moisten and condition. It’s a leave-in product (that also smells like you’ve just left the salon) that is enriched with heat- and UV-protection ingredients.

Phew. Whoever said it’s more fun being blonde?

Illustration: Joan using Adobe Firefly