We get it. You've just been so busy and practically have no time at all for anything these days. Even frivolous pop culture news need to be presented in bite-size portions because who can afford fIvE mInUtEs ReAdInG aN eNtIrE aRtIcLe? You're barely making it through this introduction.
To help you keep up with this fast-paced world and its fast-paced memes, take this summed-up recap of what the kids be talking about this past year. 2024 gave us a healthy serving of beefs, eloquent GenZ brain rot speak, an industry of body positivity turned Ozempic junkies, and cringe personified—Jojo Siwa. Beginning from the most recent, here are your unfortunate signs of the times. Thank you Beyoncé.
Well, this is not the first time we got thirsty for a killer. That's an editorial "we" where by "we" I mean you feral hoes simping over the murder suspect of UnitedHealthCare CEO Brian Thompson. While many are charmed by the unibrow, it's the shooting then leaving on a bikeshare for me. Either way, from green hoodie to burgundy sweater, the dude is having so many moments, it wouldn't be a crime to call him a hit man (HA). Lately, he and fellow felon Diddy allegedly share prison space, and the attorneys for both are apparently spouses. Not sure what to do with that useless bit of information so until the verdict is out, Alexa, cue "Criminal" by Britney Spears.
Press tours seem to be the rage this year; from publicity dressing to just poor publicity [someone enlighten me on the whole Blake Lively-Justin Baldoni saga and why has it still not ended with them (double HA, I'm on a roll)]. This movie adaption of the hit musical has doled out viral moments thanks to its stars Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo being ultimate theatre school kids. At the peak of their overdone reactions comes this special interview where not only space but also fingers were held. Next time you see someone looking overwhelmed, hit them with that emotional support index clutch.
Of course this one began with eternal IT boy Timothée Chalamet. Possibly because this one was graced by the actor himself, the movement spread across the globe like wildfire. The most notable celebrity contests being new IT boy Paul Mescal, Jimmy O Yang and ol' rat boy Jeremey Allen White (get someone else to explain Hot Rodent Men to you, I can't be doing it all).
The Guardian sums it up best: "The moist, ungovernable hippo combines the aesthetic of a potato and the iron will of a toddler—and her name means ‘bouncy pork’." 10 July 2024 marked the day the human race was blessed the existence of true Brat Girl Moo Deng. The female pygmy hippo was born in a Thai zoo, and her international appeal is best explained by her sigma female energy (i.e. innate sass, for the dinosaurs that roam among us).
TikToker Jools Lebron gets the credit for this catchy phrase of how to be respectful yet "cutesy". Timely, considering how unhinged everyone appears these days. The irony is not lost on us that the person bestowing advice on proper feminine behaviour is someone who was assigned male at birth. Offended? Please, cancelling is so last season.
Another accidental meme queen is Vice President Kamala Harris, not just for not understanding how cloud tech works, but this infamous phrase that is now emblazoned on our minds: “You think you just fell out of a coconut tree? You exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you.” Which, again ironically, is wild without any context. Fun fact: The speech the line was taken from was actually from the year before. Talk about being unburdened by what has been (someone get the extinguisher YOUR GIRL'S ON FIRE).
A personal favourite because frankly, that level of audacity to believe in yourself is downright inspiring. To be so unapologetically terrible at a sport you're representing your country for that the Olympic committee officially deletes the new category is certainly worthy of worldwide attention. Okay, so the decision to remove breaking was supposedly made prior Rachael Gunn's stellar performance at the 2024 Paris games, but we wouldn't put it past them that the Australian breakdancer and her sick outfit convinced anyone who was on the fence. It only took this 37-year-old academic to show us that in life, delulu could just be the solulu.
Once again reinforcing that anyone can be famous in this social media hopped up era, Haliey Welch gained her misguided popularity via her fellatio advice in a street interview. The entrepreneurial young lady then went on to capitalise on her catchphrase with her own branded merch, podcast, and cryptocurrency, because are you really an Internet star if you didn't? $HAWK coin reportedly surged to USD490 million market capitalisation on the Solana blockchain, before plummeting 95 per cent within hours. Now who said meme coins weren't viable sources of income!
You gotta be living under a rock if you don't know about this feud. Your TLDR? Two rappers can't stand each other and put it in song. Diss tracks, if that sounds cooler. The over decade-long simmering beef and subtle shots fired finally culminated in a heated hip-hop exchange that not only gave us spectators memes aplenty, but lyrically poetic hit "Not Like Us".
Who else could make domesticity look so simultaneously fun and creepy than Nara Smith? The 22-year-old model and mother of three is making husband Lucky Blue Smith relevant again with her uncanny ability to bake everything that exists on this planet from scratch. Almost enough to make us forget that he has a daughter with Stormi Bree named Gravity. Anyway. Nara Smith, who claims to have wedded at 18, is nearly single-handedly putting all career women to shame with her accidental anti-feminist content. Now, is it too much to ask for a TikTok of the dishes being washed in the same style though?
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