How adventurous are your family at the dining table? Mine… not so much.

Before knowing any better, I thought it was perfectly normal to restrict dining out to the confines of five dishes within five trusted restaurants. When my parents immigrated to London, Chinatown was their safe space. It was where they could get a slice of home that—in an era before video calls, online shopping, and cheap flight deals—was difficult to maintain a strong connection to.

Here, they could speak in Chinese, get Lo Mai Gai to go, and really feel part of a community. I tagged along for every trip to their regular haunts. There was Lido, now the vicinity's oldest restaurant which we went to for dim sum; Wong Kei the cheapest place for big (non-special occasion) family gatherings where whoever treated the clan wouldn't go into debt; and SeeWoo Supermarket, where we'd stock up on giant bags of white rice and canned goods like bamboo shoots or red beans. The adults would always throw in a couple of bags of White Rabbit candy to keep us kids quiet in the backseats.

Things stayed that way while our parents were gatekeepers to our diet. It wasn't bad at all. My cousins and I were deliciously fed. But as soon as we had our own money and the ability to make decisions, trying to coerce our parents out of familiar habits posed a challenge, and that remains to this day.

Even when we're travelling, my mum and aunts never stray far off the course of what they know. In Delhi, for example Aunty Mary managed to locate a Hakka-owned Chinese restaurant, and we ate
there every single evening for a whole week, likewise, in Japan, we picked a random Donburi restaurant by the hotel, which my mum loved so much she took us back, again and again. Every single evening of a five day trip. Family holidays to Hong Kong are centred on the Kowloon enclave my Aunt Mei lives in. She doesn't like us dining on the island because it's "too expensive".

I questioned my mum on her reluctance to experiment over a lunchtime bowl by Chinatown. I managed to drag her to Singapulah, helmed by Singaporean chef Ellen Chew and one of the many new Pan-Asian offerings in the area alongside "Thai, Korean, and Malaysian. She agreed because she likes Singapore Noodles (we used to sell the dish in our '90s Chinese takeaway).

"Son, I know what is good value, and what is good Chinese food. I choose restaurants for Chinese people. The others are geared toward the English" she insists while slurping Hokkien Mee. Good value doesn't always mean affordable FYI. My family will splurge on annual treats, such as a milestone birthday or a Christmas outing. They see value in glamorous venues, just so long as those venues steam rice.

White rice is a staple in most East and Southeast Asian diets, and without it, members of my family stress that they will be hungry within a couple of hours. I know that when planning a group meal, there must be rice. If I take them out for French, they'lI complain the portions are too small. If I take them out for pizza, they'll complain it's all junk food. And if I take them to anything vegan, well... they'll just complain about everything. Rice is the way to please, ideally with some kind of saucy meat or tofu mixed with roast pork.

So whilst my family's go-tos are all within the Chinatown vicinity, they do have a couple of favourites beyond the red gates. It just took me or my younger relatives copious persuasion to lure them there. Nowadays, my uncles get their spicy fixes at Korean eateries around Soho. Whilst Mum has been won over by (another) Singaporean chef called Peter Ho, a local star with a Chinese-Japanese restaurant called Mei Ume on the Eastside. It's funny because our elders are inherently risk-averse, yet still do see potential rewards from taking a risk. They just need a push.

Perhaps that's down to our culture, which is rooted in tradition, and my parent's generation having to deal with the struggles of being an immigrant in the West. Taking the safer route made sense to ensure success. Their tried and tested attitudes don't only apply to food. They apply to technology, destinations, and careers, too. But food, being the thing that brings us all together, is something we've taken an interesting journey on, guided by the younger members.

The journey looks like this the answer is no at first, but then it becomes a yes. The order is rice, with a new dish joining the grain. And the finish is always some variation of fruit. That leads to a repeat visit if it meets their standards, and when I want to try something new this whole process circles back again. My Chinese elders are stuck in their ways, but if it's not too out there and delicious enough, they'll open their horizons. As for the fruit finish, I'm still working on weening them off sliced oranges and apples with modern desserts they usually complain are too sweet. Then again, maybe it's I who needs to lay off the sugar if I want a long life of adventures on the plates.